Sunday, January 16, 2011

Slut or a sex addict?

Huffington post: Am I a slut or a sex addict?

If I had to chose between the two, I'd rather call myself a slut. My love and preoccupation with sex has lead to "drama" in my relationships only when I felt obligated to monogamy out of social expectations. Once I embraced my more "poly-amorous" or non-traditional feelings about sex the happier my sex life has become. We are all sexual beings and no two beings express their sexuality exactly the same. It only looks alike because of our socialization. Monogamy is not natural. It is a choice. A choice that makes sense if that's your desire. When its more your family, culture, or community's demand then we got problems. Sex addiction is real but -m ethinks the public protest too loudly 'round the topic when their spouse or sexual partners don't adhere to the popular expectations. The more honest we are about how we like our sex the less time, and money, will be spent in clinics and courtrooms.

-- Mo Beasley, Author and Sexuality Educator

I certainly do not view sex addiction as a "disease" that requires 12 steps to cure. Apparently, I fit all the criteria for having a bona fide sex addiction to a T, except for one crucial element: shame. It is this one little horrific emotion that drives millions of so-called sex addicts to spend exponential amounts of money in therapy every year, and just as many to seek support in groups and addiction programs. This shame stems from the fact that many so-called sexual deviants are slapped with the label "sex addict" when there is, in fact, absolutely nothing wrong with liking porn, or anal sex, or spending an evening with a call girl. I don't even think there is anything wrong with using sex to deal with your emotions -- after all, there is some truth to the saying, "let's work it out in bed." Maybe what we need are groups to heal our shame around sex, rather than programs that only serve to reinforce our neuroses.

-- Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D. prostitute/porn star turned sexologist & educat

Friday, January 7, 2011

Zine Reviews

Heart Murmer #2
The longest awaited zine of all time! Benji tells with a bright voice the stories of actions spontaneously taken after seeing the most fucked up bumper sticker of all time, an act of vengance taken by a former partner to another one who was acting like a dishonest dirtbag, and a few pages on personal values and the sword of ideology. It makes me feel good to read a zine by a radical person that is not simply empty rhetoric and statements, telling stories of human emotion, whim, and will to fight and that are delicious to read.
Benji Rouse
1122 E. Pike St. PMB 773
Seattle, WA 98122

Requesting the Pleasure of Your Company

Written by the hoestess with the moestess (I know, I attended dozens of her parties and made a girlfriend at one!) Kelly defines RSVP through the film clueless, tackles her role of hostess-feminist through Virginia Woolf and serves up some helpful hints. Stories about kelly's parties:

fourth of july was the best, with American flag jello champagne cakes and always enough boobs(I mean booze). 20-somethings were smoking pot for the first time, and at her next party i ended up in a kiddie pool in my underwear feeling up a hot redhead that I later dated for months. There was always enough food, dips and olive oil mashed potatoes and wierd kitschy snacks. Her parties nrought together all the social scenes, zine librarians, theater people, regular average gays, punk retirees, internet dates - all drunk, all in harmony.
Once the night before one of her parties a woman from a nearby retirement home took a walk into kelly's back yard, lie in the leaves next to her garbage can and quietly died. Kelly took this with great grace and still hosted a party in yard, with the said partying grandma ghost in our midst.

Letters to An Absent Father

Mare draws charming, bubbly comics, and is an adult who likes pokemon so these letters to Ash's father, "adressing the reality of a broken family" are reccomended. A tiny pocket size zine with nice touches of lined letter paper. "Dead Dad. On a the sea, I watched my butterfree...& his mate dissappear....Into the sunset....Do you Ever miss Mom? Love, Ash"

Food Magic
Erin's first zine, a simple to read coctail and vegan cook zine featuring everything from basil coctails and walnut pate to a liver tonic. On the classy end of cookzines if I do say. Also, she's my new drinking buddy.

Witch house roundup

White ring drops a new track "Feather"

Wednesday, January 5, 2011