Sunday, January 16, 2011

Slut or a sex addict?

Huffington post: Am I a slut or a sex addict?

If I had to chose between the two, I'd rather call myself a slut. My love and preoccupation with sex has lead to "drama" in my relationships only when I felt obligated to monogamy out of social expectations. Once I embraced my more "poly-amorous" or non-traditional feelings about sex the happier my sex life has become. We are all sexual beings and no two beings express their sexuality exactly the same. It only looks alike because of our socialization. Monogamy is not natural. It is a choice. A choice that makes sense if that's your desire. When its more your family, culture, or community's demand then we got problems. Sex addiction is real but -m ethinks the public protest too loudly 'round the topic when their spouse or sexual partners don't adhere to the popular expectations. The more honest we are about how we like our sex the less time, and money, will be spent in clinics and courtrooms.

-- Mo Beasley, Author and Sexuality Educator


I certainly do not view sex addiction as a "disease" that requires 12 steps to cure. Apparently, I fit all the criteria for having a bona fide sex addiction to a T, except for one crucial element: shame. It is this one little horrific emotion that drives millions of so-called sex addicts to spend exponential amounts of money in therapy every year, and just as many to seek support in groups and addiction programs. This shame stems from the fact that many so-called sexual deviants are slapped with the label "sex addict" when there is, in fact, absolutely nothing wrong with liking porn, or anal sex, or spending an evening with a call girl. I don't even think there is anything wrong with using sex to deal with your emotions -- after all, there is some truth to the saying, "let's work it out in bed." Maybe what we need are groups to heal our shame around sex, rather than programs that only serve to reinforce our neuroses.

-- Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D. prostitute/porn star turned sexologist & educat

1 comment:

Gref Kim said...

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